I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
