if you like me you must not know who I am
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
