Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
