He is such a slut. More and more my type.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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