I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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