I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
