so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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