This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
