you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
