we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
