That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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