I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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