Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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