Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
