im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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