I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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