My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
