Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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