either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize