1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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