your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
