Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
