He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
