I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
