Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
