1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
