i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
