It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize