apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
