Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
