woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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