Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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