So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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