2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
how drunk are you?
Several
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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