Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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