I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
