I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize