You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize