I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
