I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
