Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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