i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm at about main and main street
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I stole a fireplace last night.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Randomize
