Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
