We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
