I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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