Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
