Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
