I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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