Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
you win again, gameday.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
