Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
