So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The air was thick with penises
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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