i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
