You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Randomize
