So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
