He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
