i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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