ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
