remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
