i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
