Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
