I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You pole danced in your parka.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
