i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Randomize
