her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
