I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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