get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
